Wise books about the relationship between a man and a woman say, that love is the solution, taken every day. They also convince, that we are truly capable of loving everyone. Good ones relationship books definitely worth a read.
Eva-Maria Zurhorst, "Love yourself, never mind, with whom you are"
"Whom would you marry, you will find your reflection in it ”- this is how the book of the German therapist Eva-Maria Zurhorst begins on the relationship between a man and a woman. In her opinion, not only the partner is a reflection of ourselves - in the sense, something, what upsets us about it, upsets us and in ourselves; and if we do not accept something in it, so, we do not accept ourselves - but the relationship itself is a mirror for us. Only when we're with someone, we learn to love him, but only then will we know, do we really love ourselves. If this sounds too hard for you, trust me, that the author explains his concept step by step and from time to time repeats its most important elements, to reinforce the lesson. I think, which is the biggest proof that, that this concept works, is the marriage of the therapist herself.
A few years ago, I spoke to her and her husband Wolfram during one of their book promotion meetings.. They told me with disarming frankness, that no one in their lives pissed them off and did not rejoice in them so much, how they are. That they broke up ten times or so, but always reconciled.
Gary Chapman, "Five Love Languages"
Gary Chapman, American Pastor and Relationship Specialist, we owe one very important thing - the discovery and description of the five love languages. For, as he rightly remarked, we don't all express our feelings the same way. Some people think, that once saying "I love you", this is valid until further notice and does not need to be repeated every day, others see happiness and fulfillment in their partner's loving words. Some prove, what do they think of us, buying our favorite yogurt or taking our car to the car wash regularly; others remember every anniversary and can name every song, to which we have ever danced together.
knowing that, what language of love does our partner speak to us and what language do we prefer, helps to avoid misunderstandings and increase satisfaction from living together, allows you to better understand yourself and your partner's needs. In a nutshell – the author highlights the ways in which we show love and how we perceive it:
- physical contact, actions, expressing our devotion,
- precious time, spent together,
- small gifts and affirmative words, that guarantee our love.
Everyone has one or two languages, which he uses. It is important to know about them and learn the main languages of a loved one.. And also show enough goodwill, to move with understanding to this tower of love.
The only downside to this guide is that, that it has a slightly preachy tone. Those, who is not religious, suggestions to discuss this issue with the pastor or go to social meetings can be annoying, but... it's the language of love, which uses Gary Chapman. However, it is not important, as he says, and that, that the ego is really worth listening to.
David Schnarch, "Passion and Marriage"
Yes, this is a book about sex and even about….. (head 10 second part), but above all, this is a book about, how you can live in a passionate and successful relationship with one person for many years. Moreover, through such relationships, you can achieve those heights, which one would not have achieved alone.
Psychologist and sexologist David Schnarch first published The Passionate Marriage in the 1990s., Since then, this psychological book about relationships has been reprinted several times.. As he admits:
“A lot has changed since the first release. I have grown old. My beard is gray. Wife says, that i'm more affectionate. Daughter - that I'm wiser. My views have evolved, clinical work has matured, expanded the practical application of my method, and increased my admiration for marriage as a path to the inner development of partners. But still, evaluating this book from a long-term perspective, I wouldn't change a thing".
Schnarch claims, that the biggest mistake in our relationship is that, that we are often not present in them, we are not even present in the current time, in which they occur. During a joint dinner, our thoughts rush to work, even during sex we focus on, what she said earlier or what he just did.
In turn, the author considers diversity the best medicine and the basis of passionate relationships.. What exactly, you will learn from the book.
